I am driving under the influence
Daring reality to give me a speeding ticket
See, I am high on love.
I never could just sip in its smoke and simper
Batting my eyes and looking coy was never my thing
I can’t let myself play into cat and mouse flirtationships
I always try to say what I mean
Always needing someone to turn my mind on to keep me interested
I’m not going to simplify myself down to one flicked up switch
I won’t just be some inflated superhero’s distressed damsel or girlfriend
I aim to equalize heroes with heroines
Now, don’t just smile and nod
Don’t patronize me with pats on the head or epithets of cuteness
I moved on from Hello Kitty a long time ago.
I’m not some trophy and I won’t dress up for you—I dress up for me
Barbies always creeped me out with their stiff joints
Too-large eyes and heads so tiny and hollow
Even dust bunnies avoided gathering in them
You may be capable of moving me chemically—I mean, I’m not blind—
But catching my attention doesn’t deserve a round of applause
I tend to get momentarily distracted by lots of shiny, pretty things.
You can’t hold my attention for more than a handful of moments
With a projected ego inflated with hot air
Propped up with your notion of others’ inferiority
Fleeting moments of kindness don’t excuse your sense of superiority
And they are constantly overtaken by waves of indifference
Making me apathetic to your existence
Because you chill every vertebrae in my spine with your shallowness
And you must think me a fool to hope that I’ll let that near my heart
So if you want to stand by me, I dare you to challenge me
Don’t just play to be on my court and thoughtlessly agree
I don’t deal in monotony
So I pinky promise I’ll appreciate the discord
Why not fly high?
I’ll float up with you but I won’t depend on just you
I’ll live, laugh, and light up, my love.